Living with a spouse who has bipolar is not easy. While nowhere near as hard as it is on my husband, life is dictated by his mood of the day. Without much recourse, except to accept it, help him, ignore it, or confront it and potentially start a war; I’m often left to roll with his verbal jabs and punches and bury my feelings beneath his.
I don’t know how else to deal sometimes. Knowing that I check off all of those boxes makes me sad. Sad that I love a man that fits a description that I know isn’t him. Sad that I so badly want him “normal”. Sad that he suffers so deeply. Sad that I love him too deeply to let go. Sad that I can’t help him.