Go Away!

This could potentially be a long summer, and not in a good way.  We are only three days in from the kids being out of school and I want to run away.

My husband is an only child and suffers from the only child syndrome.  He’s used to things being quiet and no one picking on each other.  Coupled with his bipolar, this can make many days insufferable.

Today being one of those days.  My boys are 13, 10, and 4.  They are typical boys.  Dirty, smelly, obnoxious, and loud.  They get on each other’s nerves and pick at each other.  But, like today, they get along and play with each other and it often times turns a bit loud as the rough housing starts.

Personally, I love to hear them getting along and laughing and cheering each other on.  Today, my husband couldn’t.  Every. Single. Fucking. Noise. Was followed by, “I said settle down!” Or , “Stop being so loud!”.  Every little noise or squeal or laugh irritated him to no end.

I had to ask him to leave.  The boys are just having fun and do not need to be forced into silence to appease him.  The ironic part is now that he has left, all three boys have retreated to their seperate corners and it is quiet.  The laughter stopped and a somber mood set in.

I don’t know what to tell my boys other than it’s not their fault and I love them very much.  They did nothing wrong and they are not the reason I sent my husband away.

Along with assuring the boys that everything is okay and they are my pride and joy, I now have to wonder if he’ll be home tonight.  Will he be safe? Will he stay with a friend? I can only hope that he does, but there comes a time when I have to say, “Enough! They are children and deserve a good time!”

This entry was posted in Bipolar, Mental Health and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Go Away!

  1. mimi says:

    Does your husband have a history of not coming back home or disappearing and you don’t know where he is? I hope not…


    • zebrabrie says:

      No. He may not let me know right away. But he will let his mom know. I think this is a way of still being able to push me away but at the same time letting me know he’s ok. This is a discussion we’ve had before. That even if it’s that he’s just going to be an hour late that circumstances in our relationship are different than a “normal” relationship and I need to know he’s safe.

      I let his mom know and if he hasn’t went there he will answer her call or text and keep us informed. That’s happened a few times.


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